Jenny's Medical Thriller Blog

"The Moment Everything Changes: What Really Happens When You Receive a Devastating Diagnosis."

Disclaimer: The following content is based on professional nursing experience, and my own personal experience and is intended for informational purposes only. Individual experiences may vary, and this should never replace professional medical advice.

I remember sitting in the small office, with my husband at my side. It was mid morning, and I was about to talk to the neurosurgeon who would review my scans and deliver the news. In my thirty + years of nursing, I knew that doctors who deliver good new usually remain standing, clipboard or file in hand, ready to move on to the next referral. But he sat down, and i immediately knew that my world was about to shift.

As healthcare professionals, we're trained in the clinical aspects of diagnosis delivery, but nothing truly prepares you for the human element, or when it is you. I've stood beside countless patients as they received news that would forever divide their lives into "before" and "after". Each reaction is unique as a fingerprint, yet there are patterns - psychological and physiological responses that unfold with startling consistency.

My initial reaction was "Wow, really? Are you sure?" My neurosurgeon turned the large computer screen to my husband and I and there staring at me was an MRI was a beautiful tumor staring back at me. Not being an expert in reading MRI's by any means, it was clear that the solid white mass was big, and it could clearly be seen in a portion of the brain not easy to get to. I could feel my chest tighten, my heart rate increase, and my eyes widen.

My neurosurgeon to his credit was kind, and had mastered the delicate balance of honesty, and hope. He tried to reassure me, and went through the pros and cons of surgery, first at a high level, then at a micro level as I specifically asked for risks, benefits and complications. He laid it out, and didn't rush the appointment. But the bottom line was this...do nothing and it would surely kill me, or risk complications and lifelong challenges. It seemed there wasn't much of a choice.

The Ripple Effect

What many people don't realize is that a devastating diagnosis doesn't just impact the patient - it creates ripples that extend far beyond the room. My husband looked dumbfounded and let me take the lead for questions. He sat quietly holding my hand in support, but his silence spoke volumes. I was in my own little world at the moment, trying to hold it together, knowing it was bad, to barley focus on him.

I had to tell family and friends. They all supported me the best way they could. Lots of hugs, lots of connections, lots of quality time together. I signed all the consents, and became an official waitlist for surgery, prioritized by the danger the tumor presented. The wait was beyond excruciating.

Everyday was an exercise in survival, the emotional toll creating issues with stress management, poor sleep and no appetite. I felt like I was suffocating. I resented changing my role from nurse/care provider to vulnerable patient at the mercy of the system.

The Unspoken Truths

What patients and families often don't see is how these moments affect the medical team. I've delivered countless pieces of difficult news alongside physicians, and each one leaves a mark. We go home to our families, and sometimes we hold them a little tighter. At times, we lie awake wondering if we said the right things, if we provided comfort, if we struck the right balance between honesty and hope.

When you become the patient, and also someone who has been on the other side, you realize there is no amount of comfort, words or actions you can take to ease the pain and chaos of next steps. But I have also discovered that humans, including myself, possess an extraordinary capacity for resilience. I became a fighter. But I also went down the rabbit hole of research, watching craniotomies play out on videos in front of me right to the day of surgery. I needed to know. But I now knew too much. And that was a terror in and of itself.

As I recovered from a devastating experience, I realized that my new personality allowed me the privilege and joy to discover a new world, a new beginning. And this is where writing medical thrillers became a passion. As I continue to write and explore the complexities of healthcare, these real experiences inform every character, every plot twist, and every emotional moment. The intersection of medicine and human drama provides endless inspiration for stories that are both authentic and compelling.

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